Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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