I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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