life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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