I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
