D3 body, D1 cock
Are we in a gay sports bar?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
