i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
