i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
