Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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