Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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