She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
