I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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