I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
