So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize