once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
