you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
