i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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