the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
