TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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