She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
