it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
