Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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