i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Every concussion has its silver lining
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
