Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
