apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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