Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
