you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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