I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
