What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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