Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
