when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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