community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
