Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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