I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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