do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
