I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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