Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
