I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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