This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
