The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
