One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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