The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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