We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
