I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
