did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
