Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
