I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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