I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
