She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
