ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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