I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
