she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
