How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
