Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize