I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
