I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
