I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
