my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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