okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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