I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
