i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
