i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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