Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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