I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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