i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
