I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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