just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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