your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
