I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
