Dual....:-)
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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