i don't like sucking hair
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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