you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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