we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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