Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
