Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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