sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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