please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Are we still banned from the library?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
