I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A+ Viking dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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