just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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