she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
