this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
