Kiss
Puke
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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