Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
