Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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