do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
