He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
