Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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