Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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